Frustrated...where will it lead?

Today is kind of the peak of my frustration!

I feel so gross, fat, ugly and disgusting!

This past year I have lost and kept off a little over 20 pounds...the frustrating part is I have lost and gained another 8 pounds about 6 times!

That up and down is purely because I have not been committed to eating a proper diet.

I know I can lose the rest of this weight and get really fit again.

With it being 2 days away from Christmas I am trying to give myself permission to just enjoy life and then get serious on Boxing Day...this has been hard because I am so down in my thoughts about myself......

My plan over the next 2 days is too give this blog a face lift, make some goals for 2014 and get ready to start eating clean on Boxing Day! 

I plan to rock 2014!!!

Two Weeks of Consistancy

The past two weeks have been busy but great!
My focus has been mostly on track with a few days of eating off plan.
As a result, my weigh in today was 172.4lbs.
That is 3.8lbs in the last two weeks and a grand total of 29.4lbs.

I feel like I am on a roll for weight loss and can see my goal of 150 by my birthday in March.

Day 6 & Weigh In Day

Down 2 pounds this week! Yeah! 176.2lbs

So today was a crazy day in the city. My second oldest daughter had a follow up appointment with the surgeon for her foot. This appointment was a 2 hour drive from home and before we even got to the appointment it started to snow...bad situation! 

As soon as we got out of the appointment we hurried through some necessary shopping and headed home. Just in time too, there was 3 accidents between the city and our home and the highway was closed in 2 spots but fortunately we did not have to stop. I had left the baby at home who is still nursing so if we had not made it through that would have been a stressful situation from all of us. God knew and made it possible for us...my friends who were there also are just getting home 6 hours later because they got caught at both closures. Very thankful tonight to be home safe and sound!

Eating was as follows;

Breakfast before leaving was a coffee with honey and cream and a Smoothie with spinach, raspberries, water, flax and whey protein powder .

Snack at the hospital was an apple.

Lunch after appointment was a Turkey Breast sub sandwich with lots of veggies and honey mustard.

Snack on the drive home was a banana.

Supper, I had one piece of fried chicken, about 15 fries and lots of raw vegetables.

Evening snack was 2 pieces of Clean Fudge.

I call today a successful eating day! I am proud of myself today, in a good kind of way!

Day 2, 3, 4 & 5

Wow, this week is flying by!

Here is a summary of my week;
Monday, Day 2~ we woke up to no power in the house and it was not restored until 10 that night. So it was an interesting day to say the least! I did well with my eating but did not track my calories so I am not sure what they ended up at. I would not have been over that is for sure!

Tuesday, Day 3~ Catch up day on all the things I could not do because of the power outage on Monday. I had a terrible eating day, did not track calories and felt awful!!! Enough said about that day.

Wednesday, Day 4~ Back on track! I eat awesome, tracked calories (stayed under daily allowance) and went to a 45 minutes Zumba class.

Thursday, Day 5~ Another wonderful day! I am on a roll...here is my meals for the day,
Breakfast
Overnight Oats with mixed berries
2 Coffee with honey and cream

Lunch
Trim Healthy Mama Pancake with peanut butter and 1/2 tbsp. maple syrup
Coffee with honey and cream

Supper
Cheeseburger Pie
Salad with Catalina dressing

Snack
Cashew Larabar
Mint Tea

Total Calories= 1,334

Tomorrow I am on the road to take my second oldest daughter to the nearest Acute Care Center where she will hopefully get her cast off of her foot. My plan is to pack a bunch of clean, healthy foods and water in a cooler for breakfast and snacks. Lunch will be a sub sandwich. Supper is suppose to be KFC as a special treat for the family, in which I will eat in moderation and not feel guilty about.

Day One of Clean Eating

I have been fighting a bladder infection the last 2 days so I have been chugging water, 

averaging 125 oz. daily.

Sunday, this was an awesome eating day!

Breakfast

Overnight Oats with Raspberries

2 Mugs of Coffee with cream and honey

Morning Snack

Banana with natural peanut butter

Lunch

1/2 cup of Vegetable soup

Smoothie made with blueberries, strawberries, almond milk and whey protein

Piece of Clean Mint Fudge

Supper

Spaghetti Squash topped with meat sauce

Apple

Evening Snack

4 squares of 85% dark chocolate and mint tea

Total Calories= 1,401 my goal is 1,910 so a bit low for a nursing mama and I will work on upping my food intake. Sunday is a busy day at the arena, that is my excuse!

Goals

This past year I have only managed to lose just over 20 pounds and need to lose at least 35 more to be in a healthy weight range. I have 'played' around with different eating styles this year but nothing has felt right which has been part of my battle with finding a groove...not making any excuses though!

I am recommitting to eating clean and tracking my calories on MyFitnessPal. Since I am still nursing a little one so I am allowing myself  1900 calories daily.

The reason I have only lost what I have is because of lack of commitment and determination on my part and this can not continue...

It is time to get it DONE!

I would like to see the scale drop 2lbs per week putting me 12-14 lbs lighter by the New Year. 

That will put me at 165 or less. I could handle that # going into 2014!

In March 2014 will be my 41st birthday so it would be awesome to be at my goal weight then which is totally doable. 

Getting healthy at 40!!! Oh, yes!!!

I will also be journaling my food here daily for accountability or at least posting a link to my journal on MyFitnessPal. 

Digging My Heals In

The title says it all!
I am not 'feeling' like I want to change but I know I need to so this weekend that is what I have been doing. Not perfectly but making progress!

I know the scale will reflect the little choices and changes I am making!

Things like eating whole, unprocessed foods over fast food while in the city on Saturday.
 Choosing to not gorge myself on donuts and chocolate because I could.
Deciding to speak positive to myself about making little changes instead of looking for mastery.

No More Playing Around

Tomorrow I will do an official re-commitment weigh in because I just can't continue to play with my own life. It is time to get serious!

I will also be doing my food/exercise journal daily here on my blog for accountability.
I find it is encouraging to write about my day and have a person or two 'talk' to me about it.

Life has changed for the good so much here in the last few months and now it is time to get my health lined up with the rest of my life!

I keep hearing the line form a song run through my head today..."It's the first day of the rest of your life!"
So true...

What Will it Take?

I often ask myself this question! 

What will it take for me to get serious about living healthy and sticking with it for more than a few days in a row?!?

I weighed myself this morning...it has been a while since I did and I have NOT been eating healthy for the majority of the time. 

SCARY, 179.6lbs!!! 

That is a gain of 7.6lbs. YUCK!

So I could tell you all the reasons why I have not stuck with living healthy but the truth is none of them are any good. 

There are SO many reason why I need to get healthy and continue living a healthy lifestyle...now to move on from the wanting to make it click and to DOING it!!!

Monday Meals

Breakfast
Super Milk Making Shake (this is suppose to help boost my milk supply) ~S
Greek Yogurt with 1/4 raspberries ~FP

Lunch
Broccoli Salad (raw broccoli, sunflower seeds, onions, cheese and mayonnaise) ~S
5 Strawberries and 2 squares of 85% dark chocolate ~S

Snack 
Mug in a Muffin with a dollop of peanut butter ~S

Supper
Salmon fillet served on a bed of raw cabbage and topped with Catalina dressing. ~S
Clean Nut Slab Fudge (3 pieces) ~S

Today was a total S meal eating day as far as Trim Healthy Mama principles go.

Tomorrow I will throw in an E breakfast and stick with S for lunch, afternoon snack and supper.

Trim Healthy Mama

Okay, most of you know that I change my mind a lot and I am up to it again!
Hey, what can I say...I am a WOMAN!!!

This past week I decided to follow the principle in the Trim Healthy Mama 'lifestyle' book and had great results on the scale, never felt hungry or deprived so I have decided to stick with it for now.

Those first few weeks, a while back when I felt so frustrated with the 'science' behind THM I am learning is a common feeling but as a person becomes more comfortable with the eating style it becomes easier and I am seeing that in myself.

So I plan to continuing learning and eating the THM way!!

Going Strong

I am still at it!

Today's monthly weigh in has me at 174.6...loss of 3.4 pounds this month!

Could be better but I am happy with it as it is going in the right direction.

Total weight loss so far 27.2 pounds since the New Year!

Winds of Change!

It is hard to believe that it is almost 3 weeks since I posted.

So much has been happening in my own little world but to the outside it probably looks like NOTHING is happening.

I have been 'trying' to follow the principles of Trim Healthy Mama eating for about a month but just can not do it so I FINALLY decided to stop trying and start DOING what I know how to do and that is eat clean, healthy and unprocessed foods.

This was a hard decision to make because the THM has such a great bunch of women that are a big support system to each other and I know I am going to miss them but I had to let it go.

My weight has remained the same for the last month. I will only be weighing myself once a month now and will let my clothes and wedding ring tell me how I am doing the rest of the time. So next Friday is my next weigh in.

Last week I discovered what I thought was a diastasis in my tummy. I went to the doctor yesterday to confirm it and sure enough I have a rather LARGE one.
A diastasis is a separation of the abdominal muscles. At my belly button it was measured to be a 7+ finger width and above it a 4 finger width.
I am now working on closing up that gap by doing some specific exercises to strengthen it.

With that news also comes the restriction of only walking and isolated free weight for my arms for the next 12 weeks.

Weekend Report

I am feeling so amazing lately, for many reasons but fitting into smaller clothes and hearing from my husband that he can really see how I am losing weight top the list.

This weekend workouts were; Friday~ Jillian Michaels Cardio Kickboxing, Saturday~ Jillian Michaels No More Trouble Zones and Sunday~ 5km Walk.

Eating was great all weekend! I have been battling through wanting to eat non-stop due to that time of the month when cravings are rampant but I have been victorious thus far. Hopefully it will not last much longer since it started on Thursday afternoon.

Things I have Noticed...

• That I am standing taller.
• I want to get dressed each day and not just hang out in my p.j.'s.
• Taking time to do my hair daily.
• Speaking kinder to/about myself.
• Wanting to exercise because it makes me feel good!
• Seeing the good in others more often.
• I can wear 'regular clothes again and not just my maternity clothes. (I even was able to pack most of them away!)
• Can see my collar bones a wee bit again.

All these things because I am eating healthy and watching the scale go DOWN!

This weeks weigh in, 178 lbs for a loss of 3.4 lbs!!!

Only 8 more pounds until I am at my pre-pregnancy weight with baby #7.

Weekend Report

Wow, Tuesday already!

I enjoyed this long weekend so much.

Friday morning was spent preparing for Sabbath by getting food prepared and cleaning done.
The afternoon we went to a friends maple sugar shack to learn the process of making syrup.
To get to the shack we had to walk in about 30 minutes which was a beautiful walk through the bush, there was a lot of little streams that the children played in and lots of MUD! The sun was shining, no wind and just a beautiful day all round. Everyone enjoyed the sweet taste of the sap boiling down and then had hot dogs over the fire. I took myself some water, strawberries and almonds therefore avoided the other food. Yeah, me!

Saturday was a wonderful day of relaxing and enjoying the family.
I wanted to get in a walk...I usually do not like to exercise with the children but this day my three year old wanted to go for a walk with me so I obliged and I am SO glad that I did. Even though I would not consider the walk to have been for any health benefit it was so much more than that. I probably can not describe in words the way this walk blessed my heart.
To put it simply, Amanda discovered shadows!
It was amazing to see, hear and be a part of all the learning that took place in the short amount of time with her. I will be forever changed by this day of discovery!

Sunday, I  spent the day sorting clothes and spring cleaning.
I was able to pack away some maternity clothes that I have still been wearing because I did not have anything else that fit. Plus I gave away a pair of jeans and a few shirts that are now TOO big. Such a great feeling!
My husband began commenting this weekend that I am getting skinny and that he can really tell that I have lost weight now. What a sweet man I have!
I did not want to exercise  because I was so tired but once the children were in bed I did the 40 minute Turbo Sculpt dvd...WOW! I have never done this one and it was great! My new favorite for strength training.

Monday was more cleaning in the morning and then out for a 5km run. I would guess that I ran for 2/3 of the distance. It felt great but I was sore afterwards.

Has anyone ever experienced flu like symptoms the day after an intense workout? I had that on Monday and I am wondering if it is from the Turbo Sculpt workout!?

Eating all weekend was great with the exception of a few sweet indulgences on Saturday night at my mom's house for dinner. Nothing that made me feel terrible which would have been what happened in the past because once I ate one thing I would not have stopped. This time though I allowed for a treat and then stopped. I had purposefully ate light all day Saturday to allow for the heavier supper.

Weigh In

This week was a bit of a challenge to try and figure out the Trim Healthy Mama way of eating but after stepping on the scale this morning it was all worth it!!!

Today's weight 181.4lbs. 

For a loss of 2.8lbs this week and oh, so close to the 170's!

Grand total weight loss so far is 20.4lbs! 

Eating the THM way!

So I decided to give the Trim Healthy Mama way of eating a try!

It is a bit complicated to get started but I think I am getting a bit of a handle on it and it has only been 3 days.
The big thing with it is if you are fueling your body with a fat source then stay away from carbs and if your meal fuel source is from a carb than stay away from the fat but always pair either the fat or carb WITH protein.
Fat source meals are called an Satisfying meal or for short just S.
Carbohydrate fuel source meal is called an Energizing meal or E for short.
There are other meal combos but for now I am sticking with these two until I get a better understanding.

Here is what my meals looked like;
Tuesday
Breakfast~ Quinoa with a few strawberries and Greek yogurt (E)
Snack~ Almonds (S)
Lunch~ Salmon fillet and salad with ranch dressing (S)
Snack~ Roasted chick peas (E)
Supper~ Scrambled eggs with onions, peppers, mushrooms, cheese and ham. (S)

Wednesday
Breakfast~ Quinoa with a few strawberries and Greek yogurt (E)
Snack~ Apple with peanut butter (E)
Lunch~ Mushroom soup base with ground beef, peppers and onions served over steamed cauliflower and salad with dressing (S)
Supper~ Taco Salad (S)

Monday Musings

The weekend came and went but it was a wonderful weekend for me!
On Friday, I was given a large desk and now this Mama after homeschooling for nine years finally has a work area all to herself!
This may not sound to wonderful to most but for me it means I can sit and plan/research for school and I don't have to pack it all up each time I need to use the kitchen counter which has been my work place since the beginning of my homeschooling journey.

Here is my spot...













I LOVE it!!!

Today's Food
Breakfast~ Steel Cut Oats with blueberries and Greek yogurt
Lunch~ Trim Healthy Mama Pancake, strawberries and Greek yogurt
Snack~ Almonds
Supper~ Ground beef, onions and red pepper with mushroom soup sauce served with steamed broccoli and a side salad with ranch dressing
Snack~ Muffin in a Mug

No exercise today.

Weigh In Disappointment

Sometimes things in life just can't be explained!

This is one of them, a 0.2lb loss in 2 weeks...yuck!

I exercised like crazy doing a variety of different activities and eat a healthy, clean diet with the exception of a couple of days during ovulation where I ate some homemade 'skinny chocolate'.

I will not be discouraged though, I know what I am doing is what I need to do and sooner or later my body will catch up to the new way of living and then lookout scale!

My body feels different even if the scale says it is not weighing less and that is what I will focus on.

Crazy Busy

Life can get so crazy busy!
Those two words pretty much sum up my life right now.
I am working on writing up a teacher manual for a Canadian history curriculum that we are currently using and it is taking every spare minute I have available. Enjoyable though!

Eating has been on track, eating clean whole foods in moderation.
I feel great about this! It is nice to know that I am doing good for my body.

I have also been exercising. Here is what I have done this week,
Sunday~ 3.2km walk outside
Monday~ 30 minute Circuit Training
Tuesday~ Leslie Sansone 2 Mile Walk
Wednesday~ Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred Level 2

Looking forward to my weigh in on Friday because my tummy and legs are feeling so tight and strong which 'should' be a good sign for the scale.

Sick

Well, I did not get to go away for the week because on Sunday I was hit with a terrible cold. I could not bring myself to driving for 8 hours each way and trying to sleep in the same room as my baby for 3 nights and not come home more sick or at the very least in need of a break from my 'break'.
So at home I spent the March Break! which I do not want to be over...

I did go away for 1 night to the city 2 hours away and spent the night in a hotel with my baby and then did some shopping...it was a nice break just not what I had been planning on.

Steven, my little man!

In my time of being sick I did not make the wisest of choices when it came to eating which is not what I want my life to be like but I did choose to eat healthy more often than not...a small victory! I will be skipping the scale tomorrow morning because it is that time in the month when I am always up (ovulation time) and I know that and do not want to have to deal with discouragement from what ever it says.

Something I have been struggling/working through is the need to follow a plan PERFECTLY!!! The all or nothing issue that I do NOT want my life to be about anymore...I am tired of always looking for the newest and greatest weight loss 'technique'! Really is there a right or perfect way? or does it come down to what works and it manageable for each individual?

I have been reading the Trim Healthy Mama book and this is the reason I have been thinking on this issue again. I do admire the 2 women that wrote the book, they are both Christian homeschooling mama's of large families, and while their program works for them and many others I feel for me it is to much thinking that has to go into how you 'combine' foods for each meal in order to have your body burning only one fuel source at a time and I can't wrap my mind around right now.

So for me I am going to go back to basics and what comes naturally to me (when I want it to) and that is eating clean, unprocessed whole foods! YEAH!!!, simplicity is what I work well with.
Eating clean  really is what I have been doing for the last 2.5 months but I was 'trying' to get on board with the Trim Healthy Mama way of eating also but I can't do both right now.

Today's Food

• Quinoa with fresh strawberries and almond milk
• Apple and peanut butter
• Raw vegetables, hummus and Mary crackers
• Smoothie (banana, almond milk and peanut butter
• Taco Salad (lettuce, spinach, peppers, onion, lean ground beef, cheese, greek yogurt, salsa, guacamole and 8 nacho chips) and 'skinny chocolate' 
• Popcorn made in coconut oil

I went for a 3.2km walk/run in the beautiful sunshine and cold air this morning. I think I have mentioned before but I LOVE going outside to exercise!

With all the excitement...

Of my birthday yesterday I forgot to post my weigh in!!
I was down .6lbs bringing my weight to 184.4lbs.
I was hoping for more but with a loss of 5.4lbs last week that is still a total of 6lbs in 2 weeks and that is nothing to snuff at while still breastfeeding an eight month old baby.

Getting close to my first reward @ 180.

This coming week I will be spending sometime in southern Ontario with a dear friend and her family and while there I plan on buying myself some new running shoes with my birthday money.
I also was given a juicer for my birthday and look forward to using that soon.
I have never use one before so if anyone has experience with one I would love to hear from you.
I will be gone from blogland until my Friday weigh in next week have a great week everyone!

The Big 4-0!

Today was my birthday!
One that has been really bothering me, I think because my father died young and it has been a fear of mine that I would die young also so entering the forties is one step closer to fifty and that was when he died.
I know I have started to make the changes that I need to in order to help reduce my chances of heart disease of which he died so I know I am on the right path and should be around to see my children grow old and sit with my husband and enjoy a hot cup of coffee each morning while we talk about the 'good old days'!

Now that it has come and gone I feel fine with it! After all it is just a number!

Food For Today

• Scrambled eggs and vegetables
• Almonds
• Handful of chips
• Trim Healthy Mama Pancake with peanut butter and maple syrup
• Lasagna & Salad and dessert was a big bowl of fruit and cool whip
• 3 Peanut Butter Balls

I felt like I needed something that was a heavy carbohydrate all morning so for lunch I tried the THM pancake and I loved it! Next time I would not eat it with peanut butter and syrup but rather with fruit and yogurt like it recommended. 

I did go for a run of 3.2km this afternoon with only 3 small walks in there...it felt really good to run that distance.  When I ran back in 2010 I did it and  never really liked it, I prefer cross training but running is such a quick and intense workout that I will probably continue to do them a couple of times a week.

Day 9 & 10

Yesterday confirmed for me something I have known but not wanted to deal with for a long time.
I must be wheat intolerant!

Back in 2010/11 when I was working on losing weight I went off of wheat products to try and drop weight and it worked but it also showed me so much more. All of a sudden after stopping eating wheat my cravings for sugar and desserts were gone with the exception of during certain hormonal times. My waist shrunk and I felt light.

Fast forward 2 years and here we are at March 2013. On the first day of 'Challenge Me' I decided I would give up wheat or at least limit it until my birthday on Friday. Yesterday, 9 days without any wheat, I was planning spaghetti for the family dinner and went to the store to buy a spaghetti squash for my 'pasta' but there was not any. So I made the choice to eat regular pasta with the rest of the family. I limited myself to 1 cup, enjoyed it and carried on with the night. Something happen though, I kept saying to my husband all evening, without even noticing at the time,  that I was hungry, starving in fact and felt like I could eat and eat.
I didn't give into the desire but it was tough. This morning  had me  running to the bathroom because my bowels were rebelling.

I don't think both of those things are coincidence but rather directly related to eating wheat.

 Now it is time for me to face the reality and learn to live with and function without wheat in my diet. I will be doing some research and talking with my health care provider about this. My first proactive step in learning to live without wheat was telling my mom to not make my favorite birthday cake but that I would like to have berries and cool whip for my birthday dessert this year.

I when for a walk/run today...nothing real fancy with keeping time or pace, just ran to a certain landmark and then walked until I felt my breathing starting to recover and then ran to the next landmark. I did this for a total of 3.2km. Tonight I play hockey again for an hour and this time it is against my daughters team of 11 & 12 year old boys and girls. So I will be getting a good cardio workout there too! I can say I am starting to enjoy the workouts again and look forward to a little me time.

Day 7 & 8

Sunday was a repeat of Saturday, I spent the entire day at the arena again. I took some snacks but ate lunch out at a restaurant. I ordered a garden salad with a grilled chicken breast and ranch dressing, no croutons or cheese. It was yummy and satisfying. I did splurge and have a hot chocolate in the afternoon.

Last night I decided to do my measurements since I have not done them since December 31/12.
I was amazed at the changes, overall I was down 11.75 inches!

              December 31st      March 3rd
Neck~          15                        14.5        -.5
Upper Arm~ 14.5                     14           -.5
Bust~            47                        45           -2
Rib Cage~     39.25                   38.75      -.5
Waist~          41.5                     37           -4.5
Hips~            44.5                     42           -2.5
Upper Leg~   23.5                    22.25       -1.25

Today I struggled a bit with finding enough food to eat because my supplies are down and I will not be able to get some for a few days but I made it through.

My Food for Today

• Quiona with coconut, almond milk, flax/chia seed combo and blueberries
• Whole can of chick peas roasted with coconut oil and spices
• Apple with peanut butter
• Raw vegetables with hummus
• Mary Crackers with peanut butter and banana

Exercise was a 40 minute walk outside, I loved the cold sunny weather. So refreshing!!

Being Prepared

Today was all about living prepared!
I spent a large number of hours between arenas on our Island.

Before leaving in the morning I was a bit anxious and my tummy would not let me eat a full breakfast but I forced my self to eat an apple with peanut butter which held me until lunchish time.

I knew I would not be home for long periods of time so I packed myself a cooler of food.

What was included you wonder...Mary Crackers,hummus, grapes, cantaloupe, almonds and lots of water!

I did not give in to the temptation of eating any of the quick, easy and high calorie food that was at the rink. There were tables of baked goods, canteens of junk food and I did not feel pulled towards any of it! VICTORY!!!

Once home tonight I made a Taco Salad and enjoyed it knowing I had controlled my food intake today.

Day 5

I love Fridays!
We work hard all week and now we get to wind down and enjoy the weekend. This weekend is a busy one for our family though. My eldest sons hockey playoffs are this weekend along with my 7 year old daughters ice skating carnival. So this Mama has to be in two different arenas in two different communities almost at the same time. It will be fun though, I love watching them do their thing on ice.

Exciting news, I got in the mail a book I have been wanting to get. An early birthday gift from my hubby. It is a copy of Trim Healthy Mama by Serene Allison & Pearl Barrett. I bought the book for Kindle about a month ago but I really wanted a real copy of it to dig into. I will let you know how I like it once I get a chance to start reading.

Weigh in this morning.......................185 lbs! That is a loss of 5.6 lbs since last Friday and a total loss of 13.4 lbs in 2 months. Yahoo!!!

Today's Food

• Oatmeal with blueberries
• Almonds
• Apple with peanut butter
• 2 hard boiled eggs
• Smoothie (almond milk and a banana)
• Maple baked chicken breast, brown rice, roasted broccoli and garden salad with catalina dressing.

I went for a 40 minute walk this afternoon. I did not want to go because I just wanted to sit and read my new book instead but I knew it would lead me to going 4 days without exercise because tomorrow is to busy to get in anything and Sunday is always so unpredictable. I was glad I did it and really enjoyed the time outside too.

Day Four in Pictures

In school today, we had so much fun learning about and then building a diorama of the Tabernacle as it is described in the book of Exodus. The children and I have been really enjoying our entire study of history this year.
I added a page at the top of my blog with our current curriculum choices in case anyone is interested.

I have had an absolutely wonderful day...I am a wee bit sore after lasts night hockey game but I love the feeling.

For something different I thought I would show you what I ate today.

Breakfast~ 2 eggs scrambled with lots of vegetables

 Lunch~ Plate of veggies, roasted red pepper hummus and a banana/strawberry smoothie

Snack~ Coffee, an apple and  2 pieces of Clean Mint Fudge

This is a picture of the fudge I made the other night.

Supper~ Taco Salad (greens, ground beef meat, hot sauce, cheese, nacho chips and Greek yogurt)

Snack while watching Survivor tonight will be a tall glass of water, fresh pineapple and a handful of almonds.

Tomorrow is weigh in!!! I have had a sneak peek and it looks good.

Day 3~ Challenge Me

Today is a good day!

I came out of yesterday feeling stronger and more excited about facing each day and everything it has for me with out giving those circumstances the ability to determine my fate as far as food goes. I can control how I am going to react to any given situation. 

I can choose to eat and hide in that or I can choose to face it and work through whatever it is...I plan to practice working through it.

Today's exercise was playing ice hockey for an hour against my son's hockey team. Now that was a workout!!! You now that burning in the lungs and can't stop coughing afterwards kind of kick your butt workout, it was great!
Tomorrow will be a rest day for working out and much deserved I think.

Food Journal

• Steel Cut Oats with a banana and natural peanut butter
• Greek Yogurt
• Cauliflower crust Pizza with loads of vegetables and a half a sweet potatoe made into fries (baked in coconut oil)
• Fresh Pineapple
• Taco Salad (lettuce, red pepper, onions, meat, cheese, salsa, 8 nacho chips and Greek yogurt.)
• Smoothie (Frozen banana/strawberry blend, spinach and almond milk) this was after playing hockey

"Challenge Me" Day 2

I probably have said it before but I am going to say it again, "I HATE stress!". It seems as though stress is a huge part of my life lately and I really don't cope well with it.
In spite of the stress that is present right now I have remained focused today.


Exercise was 2 Mile Walk Away the Pounds dvd by Leslie Sansone.

Today Food Journal

• Steel Cut Oats with fresh berries
• Handful (small) almonds
• Tomatoe Soup, Red Pepper Hummus and a large Carrot
• Apple with Peanut Butter
• BBQ Pork Chop, Roasted Vegetables and Spinach salad with Poppy Seed Dressing
• Handful (small) of Cashews and dried Apricots

A Challenge

I am going to be the BIG 40 in twelve days so I thought what better way to end my 39th year than to challenge myself to do something I have not done consistently this year!

So for the next 11 days this is what I am doing....I will call it Challenge ME

• Eating whole foods.
• Limited to no wheat and no added sugar.
• Exercise at least 6 times.
• Do at least 4 things just for me (ie. paint my toe nails).

My starting weight this morning was 189.4lbs and I am looking forward to seeing that number drop.

I did a 30 Day Shred workout this morning before school with the children and then went for a walk after supper with baby in stroller.

Food Intake

Breakfast~ Steel Cut Oats with fresh berries.

Snack~ Greek Yogurt

Lunch~ Roasted Red Pepper Hummus with a plate of raw vegetables & 1 oz. of cashews.

Snack~ Apple and peanut butter.

Supper~ Cauliflower Crust pizza with loads of vegetables and a little bit of cheese.

Snack~ Clean Fudge

Stressful Week

This week is not how I would like my life to be!
It has been one stressful situation after another and it still isn't over....plus I am super weepy with hormones!

Eating has been not that great this week and the scale was reflective of it, this mornings weigh in had me at 190.6lbs so a gain of 0.4lbs...this is not acceptable for a weight LOSS journey.

I hope to get through this time of dealing with difficulties and get back to normal living soon and then I will see the scale go down.

Arena Food

This winter I have spent the best part of every Sunday afternoon and evening in the local arena for my children's hockey games. Their games happen to fall over the supper hour and my oldest two girls are timekeepers and are often there from 12:30 until 7pm.

This means that they eat snacks and one meal at the arena each week. I have tried to get them to take meals from home but the novelty to eat out has won plus because they are time keeping they make money and enjoy buying something for themselves.

My problem with it is, at our local arena there isn't any healthy options for them. The menu consists of hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza, chips, chocolate bars, candy, cookies, pop, gatorade and hot chocolate....all the junk food children love to eat!! I know these items sell but I just wish there were other healthy options too. Some fresh fruit, yogurt alone would be awesome. Call me an idealist!!! go ahead.

I on the other hand packed my snacks and would eat supper either after the games or do a quick run home between games, I think it was only twice that I have bought a 'treat' while there. Two times out of 4 months isn't bad!

Today's Food Journal

• Hard boiled egg and 4 watermelon slices.
• Apple with peanut butter.
• Whole wheat wrap with hummus and vegetables just like yesterday.
• Greek yogurt, blueberries and a drizzle of maple syrup.
• Spaghetti with meat sauce and salad with ranch dressing.

Finally day of regular season hockey for us, play offs start on Tuesday. 

Our Sabbath

Every Saturday we take the day and relax!
Time is spent together as a family doing things we would not always do during the week because of other commitments. We spend time praying and reading the Bible together and individually, playing outside or in the house, go skating, visit family/friends ...basically we just have no plans and do not do any kind of work.

On Friday, I make a supper for Sabbath that can easily be heated or baked and make cold sandwiches for lunch. For Saturday breakfast we have cereal or heat up leftover oatmeal. This prep on Friday frees me up to be out of the kitchen on Saturday, a nice break even for me who likes cooking/baking!

Today was extra special because I went for a nice, brisk, cold walk with my eldest daughter, she is 14. It
really was a special time because we rarely get a chance to do something just the two of us and she is growing up so fast and so many things are happening in her little mind that it was nice to have that time to connect.

Today's Eats

• Steel Cut Oats with raisins, craisins, pecans, cinnamon and a splash of almond milk.
• Apple 
• Whole Wheal wrap with hummus, lettuce, red pepper, zucchini, onions, avocado and cracked pepper, YUMMO!
• Hot chocolate and 10 plain chips.
• Chili and salad with a drizzle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil and cracked pepper.

An all round fantastic day!

A Hard Post to Write

This is a hard post to write tonight because I have to be truthfully honest and vulnerable.

I have been searching for the last 5 months for the perfect program, key, solution, whatever you want to call it. I wanted success and didn't want to work to achieve it. I thought if I could just find the right way to eat and follow a program to the 't' I would be happy, healthy and trim! but instead of finding the perfect program I have done some soul searching and come to realize there is not a perfect program. What may be perfect for you may not be for me and so on. This is basic stuff here, no great revelation but it has been life changing for me this last week or so.

I started out in the fall just trying to eat healthy, I felt good and content!
Late December and early January I tried eating plant based, I felt amazing but found it SO hard to stick to it 100% of the time and the perfectionist in me would sabotage myself if I veered from the course at all. In came the self condemning thoughts, feelings and actions that I have had to deal with ALL my life! It is a brutal cycle that I am determined to overcome, I know my freedom to enjoy life and all it has to offer is wrapped up in this so I look forward to facing this head on.

I sit here now in February trying to find the BALANCE in my life and eating!
Hence the reason for opening back up this blog and getting out of the extremist mode...I know I can and will do this and I want to thank all of you who have prayed, sent messages and have been there rooting for me while I have been in the 'desert' so to speak!

My focus and plan is to eat clean, healthy foods with a majority of my intake being plant based.
I will also be increasing my exercise to hopefully at least 4 days a week.

In the last 6 weeks even though it has been a real time of reflection and dealings for me I have managed to lose 8lbs which is AWESOME and a really great start!