Saturday, October 30, 2010

Heart Issue

I am going to attempt to explain to some of what has been going on in my heart the last number of days!!!!
I do not promise to be able to explain it well but I have to try.

For so many years I have dealt with the issue of being overweight and I have always depended on the scale to tell me when trying to lose weight if I was doing a GOOD job or not .

The scale can either make or break my day!!!

I know there are a lot of people like this and I am not alone in this struggle.

What may make me different is that I am no longer going to be looking to the scale for my affirmation!!

I need to build the confidence in my self that I am worthy!!

Worthy of....
and ALL good things under the sun including loving myself.

I do not need to be a certain number to be worthy of these things!!

I need to love myself for who I am and not wait until I get to a certain place in this journey to really feel like I have arrived.
I need to enjoy each step along the path instead of waiting for the final destination to really be content with my body.
This is the BIG thing that I need to get a handle on right now.

I am not in any way saying that using the scale is wrong....I think it can be a real motivator as it has been for me for so is just time for me to take this lifestyle change and healing of my thoughts and emotions to a new deeper level and the scale isn't invited to that place.

I am excited and scared at the same time because the scale has been my measurement of success for so long and now I am going to have to rely on ME!!!!
I do not have a lot of trust in myself...Yet!!...but I know it will come and that is part of what this is all about.

How will I measure if I am still losing weight or at least maintaining the 147.....I will continue to nourish my body with clean food and commit to exercising more often.
My clothes I wear now will tell me if I am gaining or losing too.
I will jump on the scale once a month so I can keep my commitment to the group of ladies that I am a part of for weight loss support...we have all come so for in changing our lives and I want to be a part of that group still so I will weigh in with them once a month if they are open to me changing this part of my commitment. I am sure they will be fine with a monthly rather than weekly WI and I will pass the idea by them on Sunday.
When I do weigh myself than I will let you all know what my weight is.

I feel like it is time to start enjoying my life and to stop obsessing about my weight...God is bringing more healing and I am excited to see it manifest in me!!!

I will leave you all with a fun picture my daughter took of me this week!!


  1. Very understandable post. How wonderful to know and feel God moving in your life in these areas. You are a great motivation!

  2. Love the picture! You look fantastic! I would never even think you had a weight problem. I'm so happy that God is healing you and helping you see your wonderful self! I am going through that journey myself. I love the idea of relying more on the fit of your clothes vs. the scale. Very smart. :)
    Happy Halloween!! :)


  3. Christine you look AMAZING and should be proud of all you accomplished. I hit the same thing with my 148lbs and decided I just wanted to be happy with me and stop worrying about the number I was at. My clothes fit me, and I felt great. Now things have changed for me so the weight is not even in my thoughts anymore and won't be for a while. Keep up the great work and enjoy your healthy new lifestyle with your children.

  4. Christine, you have expressed yourself so well! Google the song, "If I Could Look Through Your Eyes", from Willowcreek. I think it will speak to your heart issue really well. If we were closer I would sing it for you.

    Your photo...amazing! I'm so happy for you.

  5. You look great! What a great post. I agree with what you are saying and feeling. It makes perfect sense and once I get a little more weight off I will probably start taking less from the scale too. You are doing such a great job.

    And, thanks so much for all your kind comments on my blog. You inspire me.


  6. You go girl! The scale holds so many women in bondage, including myself. It is sad that we women so often find our self worth in a number. I totally agree that the scale has its uses but so often the use is distorted. I pray that you continue to find peace in the Lord for the body he has given your as your treat His temple with respect. You continue to motivate me. Also let me say you are one good lookin momma! Keep up the great work, what an example you are setting for your daughter(s)( not sure how many you might have!) they are learning by watching their momma!