Renewing of My Thoughts

When I was a child I was always the big girl in the group, as a teenager I lost 60lbs only to regain it plus some when I left home for college.

After completing college I lost 70+ pounds and maintained that loss for 3 years before getting married and then pregnant right away.

After I gave birth to my first and second child I lost the weight I had put on within a few short weeks...like I went shopping at 6 weeks postpartum and bought size 6 jeans...after my second daughter was born I experienced 3 miscarriages within 18 months and it devastated me so I ate my way through the pain with the result of gaining 20 pounds with each loss.

This left me at a whopping 200+ pounds when I got pregnant with my first born son. Three more pregnancies after that and this is where my journey began to healthy living!!!

November 7th, 2009 I gave birth to my sweet Amanda via urgent c-section and I knew I had NO CHOICE but to get my act together and lose weight or I would not be around to enjoy my family!!!

I have said all this just to make the statement that for years I have struggled with an issue with being overweight/obese and it is taking some time to change my thinking about myself but I know more today than I did yesterday and I battle onward.

I truly believe that overeating is an addiction and it is no easier of an addiction to break than drugs, alcohol, etc. but I do have the strength to do this if I decide to draw closer to the Lord while I do it. I deserve to break the hold that my flesh has on my will and to untangle my emotions now so I can walk in freedom from this addiction in strength and not just survive it.

For this entire journey my success has been equated with the number on the scale ....in my mind!

I am going to try and change this because I don't think MY SUCCESS, who I am and what I can be, should be measured by a number anymore. It will be a hard thing to change about myself but well worth the effort. I am not saying that I am going to stop weighing myself but my focus will not be so much on that number but rather being free in my thought life!

My focus from here on out will be on healing, changing and restoring ME from the inside out! Keep me accountable ladies because I may need to be reminded of what I am saying today when the scale talks to me again!

I want to thank you all for your comments, they have ALL helped me in different ways today to pursue freedom in a greater way!!!

I did not get any exercise in the last two morning because I have had a child sleeping on the couch in the living room with a cold and this is where the television is for me to do my dvd with....hopefully tomorrow!

My Food for Today

• Picture # 1 is breakfast which was steel cut oats, sliced banana and peanut butter with a splash of milk.
• # 2 is a smoothie. 3 handfuls of spinach, 1 cup Almond Breeze, peanut butter, frozen blueberries and 2 tbsp. flaxmeal.
• My afternoon snack will be an apple and cheese.
• Supper will be a bowl of picture #3 which is Vegan Split Pea soup that I made today. It looks blah but has so much flavour...I love it!