Nothing New

Life can get so busy yet I feel like nothing is 'new'. Laundry, learning, reading, talking and housecleaning take up the day completely.

Food focus was on track yesterday and so far today.

There are so many great bloggers out there that I get inspiration from, Thank you ladies for putting finger to key (so to speak) and expressing yourselves so well.

Since I don't have much to say but have the urge to write I will give show my food plan for today.

Breakfast
Oatmeal (apple & cinnamon) 2pts.
orange 1pt.

Snack AM
Apple 1pt.
1 tbsp. peanut butter 2pts.

Lunch
2 Hard boiled eggs 4pts.
slice of high fibre bread 2pts.
1 tsp. margarine 1pt.
1 cup baby carrots 1pt.

Snack PM
1cup grapes 1pt.
1 cup Cheerios 2pts.

Supper
1 sausage link 4.5pts.
3/4 cup brown rice 3pts.
2 cups mixed greens 0pts.
1 tbsp. light Thousand Island Dressing 1pt.

Total Daily Points Used 25.5
(3.5 to use for something? maybe a weight wathchers dessert or popcorn)

Hope everyone has a GREAT weekend!

Total Vent

Well I am going to sit here and vent! "Its my blog and I can if I want to, can if I want to, can if I want to." (Hum while you read!)

I feel like a loser today because I have allowed the fact that I am going to start a 2 week challenge tomorrow to eat healthy and stay on points ruin my strength to eat well today!

Why??? What makes me sabotage myself in this way??? Why does food have such control???
I want to do what I know is good for my health. I lost my father to heart disease at the young age of 50. I am only 15 years from that now. I want to see my children grow up, marry, explore and have children and if I don't continue this journey to health than I will miss these milestones.
In the more short term my husband and I are considering having another baby (getting pregnant in the summer) and I know I can't start a pregnancy without having lost a good amount of weight and got into a good routine for exercise. Motivation? Should be!

So what will it take???That I haven't come to fully understand yet but will continue to look at.
Tomorrow the challenge starts and I will succeed in this for the next 14 days!

For the remainder of the day I will focus on the positive and use the support I have to work through these thoughts and ideas.

Sweater

Here is the sweater I got myself for my 1st 10lb loss. My husband actually picked it out, I wouldn't have choose the colour but he liked it and I trust his 'taste'.



I posted this picture on request and it has been good for me because I hate getting my picture taken. So I had to look at some self esteem issues. I don't like how I look (rolls & rolls) and as long as there isn't pictures then I can avoid reality! NOT! I am sure someone out there can relate with me.



Anyway here is the picture.

News from the Scales

With no surprise I was up 1.2 lbs this week!
Oh well......I did exercise alot this week so I will focus on this victory.

Back to tracking points today and I plan to continue with my exercising this week.
I will not let this get me down!

I got my sweater in today from my first 10lbs reward. I love it too!

Monday Musings

Well......I weigh in tomorrow! Hopefully the scale is nice to me.

I am a little bit worried. I exercised everyday this week but I also had 2 birthday parties that had ice cream and cake. Of course I had to eat a bit of each, I did have control though so this is a victory.
In the past I wouldn't have stopped at just one serving so I am proud of myself for allowing myself this treat and then stopping.
{If only I had remembered to not eat the wieners I probably would not have had any problem after Friday's party.}

My abs are adjusting to the crunches I have been doing and are getting easier already.

Birthdays

My eldest daughter turns 10 tomorrow!
Yesterday she had friends over to celebrate with us and had a sleepover.

I don't know what I was thinking last night but I had 2 wieners on white buns!
{I wasn't thinking}
Now it didn't hit me until I was trying to go to sleep at close to midnight and my stomache was telling me many stories. I have not eaten meat (if you can call wieners meat) or white flour in almost 3 weeks. Without getting into details I will just say I paid for my indulgence and am still paying.

On a positive note I have done my 30/30 now 4 out of 5 days. See my previous post for details. YEAH for me!

Abs of Pain

How long have those muscles been hiding???
I have not done crunches since before I got pregnant with my last baby. So it has been almost 2 years since my stomache muscles have had to work.

A well meaning mom posted a challenge on the WW boards and my guilt would not let me pass it by. So on day 1 of this challenge to do 30 push ups and 30 sit ups I had to haul my behind out of bed and do the required amount because I couldn't allow myself to know that some moms were doing this challenge I had wimped out.

Day 2 came along and my big son was a little concerned about his mom because she was making some pretty weird noises while attempting to complete this round 2. None the less I did do them!

Today is day 3 of a 36 day challenge. By day 36 I shouldn't feel the pain anymore!
Here is to inches I hope to lose! Cheers!

My quiet house

Today I sit here at 9:45am and my house is completely silent!
Baby is napping, no appliances running and husband and other children are out until after lunch.
I call this a mini vacation.

I went and weighed in this morning. I was a bit nervous to see the # because of the weekend but I was pleasantly surprised. Down 1.8 lbs which brings me to my 5% goal with WW. I also get a reward of a new sweater for a milestone of my first 10lbs. I am feeling good!

Off I go now to exercise before my baby wakes and then I go shopping on the Sears site for that new sweater.

On Top

I am just stopping in for a quick update.
I feel much better than I did a few days ago!
My perserverance has returned and my drive to push on is intact.

I didn't even blow it to bad on Saturday when I felt so discouraged. I did need to use a large number of my weekly points but I am not kicking myself for that.
I have been back on track yesterday and today, I weigh in on Tuesday morning so I will see if any damage was done. The saving grace for me may be the fact that my little one nursed sooooo much on Thursday, Friday & Saturday because he was sick.

Food Addiction

Today I am struggling with the fact that I need to admit I have a food addiction. I hate to admit that something has control over me but it is true!

All my life I have struggled with a weight issue. From being the fat girl in grade school, thinning out in grade 9/10 and then packing it on again. The doctors said it was a hormonal imbalance and so off to see a dietician. Lost 60lbs until my first year of college where I regained the 60 plus 15 more. With my life turned over to Jesus in 1994 I lost 80lbs and felt free!

Beginning in 1999 I had 2 healthy babies in 3 years and was able to lose all my pregnancy weight quickly. Then disappointment came in the form of 3 miscarriages in a matter of 18 months and with the disappointment 20lbs for each pregnancy loss. I then had 3 more healthy babies but have not lost any of the weight I had gained before they came into my life.

So here I sit today at a little over 190lbs.
On my wedding day in 1998 I was 118lbs. Oh, to be there again!

I must work through this issue once and for all! My mind is consumed with negative thoughts about myself and I feel defeated. My husband is a great support but he can't fight this battle for me! Sigh

I am a conqueror in Christ Jesus!

Day 3

Today is day 3 of de-cluttering my house/life. How much stuff can one family collect? The rooms are shaping up nicely though so I am happy I decided to do this (again). My husband is a little worried though because usually when I get going on one of these sprees I am headed to the desire to increase the family size. More room in the house now so this is logical thinking. I am kidding, not ready to add another blessing to my life yet.

So I entered a mini-challenge on the WW boards to stay on points for 7 days. I am loving it! The fear of having to stroke my name off a challenge list is soooo motivating. It is the competitive side in me coming out!

This is a wonderful journey I am on!

Clutter

This morning I began the process of de-cluttering my house. I enjoy a clean house at all times but with 7 people living in approximately 1200 sq. feet all the 'stuff' makes me feel like the house is in shambles most of the time. I shouldn't go as far to say that I hate a messy house but since I am being honest I must admit I really do. Just ask my children! I am always after them to pick up this or that. I might be considered a nag by some.

So far I have tackled 2 sets of cupboards and 2 shelves. I have thrown out 1 large bag of stuff and have 2 boxes to donate. Have I mentioned before that I homeschool my children so I tend to collect books. One of the boxes is all books, my homeschool group will love this box. Next I will be going through the closets. I have clothes for both boys and girls from newborn to size 12. This is a big job but I like the way it feels after I am done.

This has nothing to do with my weight loss journey but it has kept me busy today!

Results

The results are in!
Down 1.6 lbs this week!
Not bad considering I didn't exercise a minute this week. (My head wasn't in it because of the tragedy at my husbands work this past week.)

Back at it today though!

Emotional Eater

I have planned my food for today because yesterday I found I was struggling with eating healthy!
I am an emotional eater and it has been a very emotional week in our house; a man at my husbands workplace fell off of a ladder on Tuesday and on Thursday he passed away as a result of his injuries. He was a young man (my age I think) and he leaves behind a partner and 4 children (1 biological & 3 step). This so easily could have been my husband and this has bothered me alot. I know the family of the man and this has added to the emotions that have been circulating also.

I am hoping by planning my food that I will avoid the pitfalls that I seem to fall in.

My menu for today is:

Breakfast
23 raw almonds 4pts.
¾ cup cooked oatmeal with chopped apple & cinnamon 3pts.
Lunch
2 cups raw vegetables 0pts.
1 slice Schinkenbrot Whole Grain Rye Bread 2pts.
1 Tbsp. PC Just Peanuts Smooth Old Fashion Peanut Butter 2pts.
½ Tbsp. Honey 0.5pts.
Supper
Homemade Vegetarian Chilli 4pts.
Salad with 2 Tbsp. Fat Free Ranch Dressing 1pt.
Snacks
14 pecan halves 5pts.
Apple with 2 Tbsp. Peanut butter 5.5pts.
Pear 1pt.
Orange 1pt.
Total 29 (1point remaining)

Goals & Rewards

My weight loss goals and rewards!

189lbs New Sweater

179lbs (10%) 1/2 hour massage

169lbs Cowboy Boots

159lbs Pedicure

154lbs (GOAL) FamilyPortrait

I believe in rewarding ones accomplishments in life.....so I have set up how this MOM will be rewarded!

Sugar Withdrawl Over??

It has been 4 days since I cut out processed/refined foods, meat, sugar, dairy and eggs.
I feel great and my skin is glowing because of it! I am pumped about this, I feel like because of the decision to make this change my whole body (internally, externally and mentally) is reaping great rewards.

I have found it difficult to try and eat all my WW points in a day because 1) all the food I am eating is low point values and 2) the food is very filling that I have been eating.... but because I am breastfeeding I need to make sure I have enough to eat to keep my supply up so I try.

The best part of all is I think the sugar cravings are gone!
POSITIVES, POSITIVES!

YES!

I weighed in this morning and was down 5lbs from last week! YEAH!

I visit the Nurse Practioner in my community for my weigh ins weekly. She is very supportive and encouraging for me. I have used this service before getting pregnant with my last baby and reached my goal weight. I then opened a TOPS chapter in town and this went great for a while but the group has dwindled down and the motivation and spirit are not hte same anymore. Maybe it is just me....I don't know but weighing in with the NP works for now so I will stick with it.

Eating raw for me means that I am eating fruits, veggies, beans, nuts, seeds and whole grains.
I am avoiding all processed food, meats, most dairy and eggs.
This is day 2 for me and I feel great so far, a bit of a headache this morning when I woke but it pasted quickly....maybe not related...who knows?

Most go tend to the house now.

About Me

This is me at my start weight of 199lbs.


Well...where to start? This blog is about me and my weight loss journey for 2009.
To begin I will record my measurements. (SCARY)
Weight on Dec. 30/08 196.8lbs
Waist 38 1/4
Hips 43
Bust 39 1/2
Upper Leg 24 1/2 (this only 1 1/2 inches smaller than my waist when I was married in 1998.)
Ankle 9
Neck 14 3/4

I am committing myself to eating 80% raw starting today. There will be days that I am not on track with this and I except this so I will try not to be to hard on myself on these days.

I long for the healthy body I had....not so long ago!

I plan to use this blog to express my struggles, fears, challenges, hopes, successes & accomplishments. I will try to be as honest and straight forward about myself as I know how.

{ I was inspired to do this blog by reading a couple of other ladies blogs that are on the WW boards.}