This morning started off as normal....up early to nurse the baby and then sat down to enjoy a couple of cups of coffee.
Sometime between coffee and breakfast my attitude and mood changed! I became miserable and took that out on my children. I so regret that but it was what happened.
I sent the children outside when the baby went for her morning nap and I began a disastrous fall down into previous behaviours. Negative self talk about how bad of a parent I am and how the children would be better off without me...yada, yada, yada! So then the thoughts of low self worth turned to why not just eat...that will make things better, right? NOT! but that is what I did! I eat some of this and some of that (which was all junk, stuff I never eat anymore) for a good 1.5 to 2 hours. Yuck!
I got on top of the attitude and negative self talk by mid afternoon and changed my day around but it was a sure reminder of how weak I am on my own. I needed to go to the Lord in prayer at the time when I first felt the attitude change or any time after that would have been good to. Lesson learned...I hope!
To make matters worse or to send the lesson home maybe is a better way to put it...my body rebelled against the junk I put into it and rejected it this evening by me having to spend some quality time in the bathroom with my head in the toilet. Sorry if that was to much information but it happened!
My focus is good again and I think my lessons are learned!
On a brighter note...I received my new Jillian Michael's DVD 'No More Trouble Zones' today and did part of it this evening (until I had to visit the bathroom)!
I loved it so far....hopefully I can get through it all tomorrow.
At least those calories are gone! :)
ReplyDeleteForgive yourself, you've learned from it, you'll probably be faced with it again in the future, say sorry to your kids, love them like crazy and continue the journey!
We're right there with you Christine!
I appreciate your honest post. I've had those days/moments, so you're not alone. Taking it to the Lord truly is better than going to the food. I'm learning this myself still.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to hearing about your new DVD. So far I'm liking the 30-day Shred.
Left you an award on my blog today. Have a good day!
Don't feel bad. We all have bad mornings and say things to our kids we don't mean. Parenting isn't always easy but we need to remember if you are a great parent (which I know you are) your kids won't remember the bad moments. I don't remember my mom yelling at me or punishing me very much, but I remember the hugs and love and knowing how hard she worked to raise me right. They will have that too so don't be too hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteWait just a minute, I didn't even know that you were nursing a baby?!?! What in the world!!! How old is your sweet baby? By the way, I appreciate you sharing your faith. To be...it's the key to success in this journey and in this life. Keep it up :)
ReplyDelete