This morning started off as normal....up early to nurse the baby and then sat down to enjoy a couple of cups of coffee.
Sometime between coffee and breakfast my attitude and mood changed! I became miserable and took that out on my children. I so regret that but it was what happened.
I sent the children outside when the baby went for her morning nap and I began a disastrous fall down into previous behaviours. Negative self talk about how bad of a parent I am and how the children would be better off without me...yada, yada, yada! So then the thoughts of low self worth turned to why not just eat...that will make things better, right? NOT! but that is what I did! I eat some of this and some of that (which was all junk, stuff I never eat anymore) for a good 1.5 to 2 hours. Yuck!
I got on top of the attitude and negative self talk by mid afternoon and changed my day around but it was a sure reminder of how weak I am on my own. I needed to go to the Lord in prayer at the time when I first felt the attitude change or any time after that would have been good to. Lesson learned...I hope!
To make matters worse or to send the lesson home maybe is a better way to put it...my body rebelled against the junk I put into it and rejected it this evening by me having to spend some quality time in the bathroom with my head in the toilet. Sorry if that was to much information but it happened!
My focus is good again and I think my lessons are learned!
On a brighter note...I received my new Jillian Michael's DVD 'No More Trouble Zones' today and did part of it this evening (until I had to visit the bathroom)!
I loved it so far....hopefully I can get through it all tomorrow.